Dear Eric: I have been shar-ing Thanksgiving with dear friends for decades. About three years ago, they learned a friend of mine, with whom they are acquainted, had no plans for the day. So, she has been invited and now attends annually.

These are kind and generous friends, so they offer their guests the opportunity to take home doggie bags. My friend is first in line and often takes enough for two to three people, regardless of the amount of food remaining and the number of people there.

My hosting friends are too nice to say anything to her. She is financially stable so it's not that she isn't sure where her next meal is coming from. Also, the hosts provide the entire meal, so she brings nothing to the mix. Although tone-deaf, my friend is extremely sensitive, so I am reluctant to say anything. Do you have any advice? Do I just accept that this is how my friend is (she has taken advantage of other situations in the past) or say something? -- Embarrassed Friend

Dear Friend: Some might call this greedy; some might call it prudent. Some might say it's a metaphor for the ills of society. But if the hosts don't have a problem, neither should you.

I understand the feeling of secondhand embarrassment, since she's someone that you know better than them. So, you may want to ask them if her habit with the leftovers is something they've noticed or are bothered by. But, as the hosts, they're setting the table and the parameters. They're not asking anyone to bring anything and they're encouraging their guests to take food home. If they wanted to set a limit on the number or size of doggie bags, they could. Dear Eric: My husband and I have been married for 15 years. He has one daughter. He and her mother divorced when she was eight and it was rancorous. Sadly, her mother died suddenly when she was 19, just before my husband and I started dating.

When we married, she refused to acknowledge it or attend the wedding. I was completely ghosted apart from her cruel jibes such as posting on social media pictures of her past family to mark our first anniversary. When she married, I attended but was treated as a pariah.

No amount of trying to talk about it got through to her. I decided it was best for me to stop trying to connect with her.

A few years go by, and she and her husband are having a baby. She suddenly appears for a visit and acts as if nothing happened. I chose to embrace her, but as I've gotten to know her, I realize I don't like her very much. She's manipulative and selfish and opens up to me only when she wants something. She doesn't like me either, just the perks. Realizing this, I've once again moved on emotionally. I feel liberated from this effort, but also guilty. Any advice? -- Dad's Wife

Dear Wife: There's the relationship you'd like to have with her, the relationship she wants to have with you and the relationship you both currently have. None of those seem to be aligning. The guilt you're feeling may stem from the belief that maybe if you did something differently, you'd get the relationship you want.

Acknowledge the reality that the semi-distant relationship you have may be what's best for both of you right now. You can remain open to the possibility of more but remember that more requires effort on both sides.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected].