A nation divided. A hotly contested election. A shocking result that has left scores of people mad. Oh, you thought I meant that mess from last week? No, I'm talking about Benny Blanco making the cut for People magazine's annual Sexiest Man Alive issue.

Let's be clear from the top: Blanco, 36, has not been crowned by People as the sexiest man on the planet. I'm not sure even his girlfriend, Selena Gomez, would go that far. From what I can deduce, he's not a "finalist." Instead, the music producer, songwriter, and cooking show host was simply featured in an article (which the publication described as a piece of "super sexy content") in the magazine's Sexiest Man issue in which he offers advice on the "rules for being a sexy gentleman."

However, the accompanying photographs for the piece seemed intentionally designed to set Blanco up to fail by triggering scorn from people who care about something like People's Sexiest Man Alive issue. In one image, Blanco wears a bespoke sequined black suit as he lies barefoot atop a tacky black-and-gold dining table, presenting what appears to be a pair of Taco Bell tostadas that he claims he re-created from scratch -- an assertion that, given the meal's resemblance to something a dog would barf up, I believe wholeheartedly. In another picture, he sits poolside, wearing a matching set of embroidered shorts and shirt as he presents the viewer with a sad-looking margarita. All the photos are classic Blanco -- that is to say, a cross between a Jewish Bob Ross and Liberace if he didn't care about trimming his monobrow -- but there's no denying that the dude looks happy and confident. (If you think my description was cruel, just know that this is a guy who once described himself as looking like a combo of Danny Devito and André the Giant.)

Well, I hope he hasn't checked the internet lately. When @PopBase (one of the myriad pop-culture aggregator accounts that do numbers on X) shared the barefoot photo of Blanco on Monday, the dunking was relentless. "I really needed this laugh today omg," read just one tweet, which was seen 5.5 million times. "Did we run out of men or something?" asked another tweeter to the tune of 6.8 million views.

It's true that Blanco is no Chris Evans or Michael B. Jordan, but we shouldn't be storming the offices of People magazine as if it's Jan. 6. Because what is true is that Blanco does indeed have a certain peculiar charm and swagger to him that the kids might call "rizz" (but in his case is perhaps better called "frizz"). He's like a guy who surprises you by showing up randomly in some weird and freaky sex dream you might have before spending the next day wondering to yourself, Why did I kind of like that?

As if to prove my point, when People magazine did finally unveil its Sexiest Man -- the actor John Krasinski, for some reason -- late Tuesday night, it seemed some horny people felt they had been cheated out of a certain ... flavor. "This is worse than Benny Blanco to me," said the comedian Ashley Ray, "like giving it to a slice of bread."

There's no need to feel shame. To start with, Blanco is terrifically successful at his brand of cooking show: The two deranged YouTube series he co-hosts with Matty Matheson, Matty and Benny Eat Out America and Stupid F*cking Cooking Show, are entertaining even if -- or perhaps because -- they have the air of something your teenage brother and his friends might put together while high. And yes, success is sexy. He has received 11 Grammy nominations and has worked with some of the biggest names in music, including Rihanna, Maroon 5, Britney Spears, Ed Sheeran, Katy Perry, Justin Bieber, and Kanye West (although we won't hold that last one against him). But he also champions lesser-known artists on the two music labels he owns. And as he's grown more sure of himself and his place in the industry, he's released his own music too, scoring a particularly big hit with 2018's "Eastside." There's no denying that he's talented or that he is, as the New York Times once dubbed him, "the most popular oddball in pop music."

And it's this oddball image that Blanco has wisely leaned into, to great -- and, yes, sexy! -- results. Because although he dresses like a 19-year-old Miami drug dealer and carries about on YouTube leading games of Shock Collar Trivia; submitting himself to lie-detector tests, during which he answers questions like whether he's ever tasted his own semen; or trying to survive in a desert for just 45 minutes like some lazy Mr. Beast, he has cultivated a boyish, roguish persona -- one that can admittedly feel over the top but is also undeniably unique and authentic. "Find your lane and just rock it and be yourself," Blanco advised People magazine. "Don't try to be someone else; everyone else is taken."

All I'm saying is, we can't keep telling men confidence is key to being sexy, then not have at least some respect when we're face-to-face with it -- even if we think they're deluded. Even if they look like Benny Blanco. Hell, Benny Blanco knows he looks like Benny Blanco, and yet he's still dating Selena Gomez.

Indeed, if you actually read the People article about Blanco that sparked this brouhaha, you get a sense of why Gomez is so smitten with him. In it, Blanco stresses the importance of men learning to cook, being chivalrous and romantic, dressing with confidence, and even having your mother as your best friend. Can you argue with any of that?

As the Wall Street Journal sagely declared in an April profile of him, "Benny Blanco Is the Perfect Boyfriend. He Even Cooks."