DEAR ABBY: My last parent passed away 24 years ago, and my brothers and sisters went their separate ways. We were not close in our younger years. I'm the youngest, so it was pretty hard on me to suddenly have no birth family, so to speak.

A couple of years ago, my estranged brother and I reconnected. We have a lot in common, and my husband and children really like him. The problem is, when he has been drinking, he calls me terrible names. It hurts me because I don't know why. It can be a great day, and then suddenly something sets him off.

I want to say something to him, but I would hate to make him mad and cause our sibling relationship to go sideways again. I feel everything I am thinking of saying will hurt our friendship. I need some sound advice, and I promise to take it. -- CONFLICTED SIS

DEAR SIS: I hope you realize that what you have described is one of the classic symptoms of alcoholism. The next time you and your brother get together and there is alcohol involved, press the record button on your cellphone so you can play it for him when he sobers up. Then tell him that in the future, you prefer he not drink anything stronger than punch when you are together.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.